Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
