so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
