your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
