their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize