Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
