Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
