I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
