exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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