and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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