what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize