His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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