Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
