school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
