you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize