He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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