i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
