I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
