amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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