Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
