wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
