Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
