I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
