I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You're like the curious george of whores
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
