Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
