it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
