Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
