On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
