You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
