so explain again why im purple
no
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
