he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
