i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
