Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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