Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(719): View more from Colorado

I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...

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(719): I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel... http://tfl.nu/j6ej

Replies (13) Good night (2716) Bad night (684)
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(802): View more from Vermont

does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children

(1-802): View more from Vermont

actually, i try not to think about it

(802): View more from Vermont

and i pooped them out

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(802): does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children (1-802): actually, i try not to think about it (802): and i pooped them out http://tfl.nu/h4ew

Replies (54) Good night (8163) Bad night (1920)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Why does Corona taste like a burp?

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(205): Why does Corona taste like a burp? http://tfl.nu/2bn9

Replies (39) Good night (721) Bad night (3735)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple

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(919): dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple http://tfl.nu/sgcu

Replies (61) Good night (1182) Bad night (6738)
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(253): View more from Washington

just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else

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(253): just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else http://tfl.nu/tjvf

Replies (12) Good night (886) Bad night (3963)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.

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(610): all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville. http://tfl.nu/k1x4

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs

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(908): Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs http://tfl.nu/h0qb

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(303): View more from Colorado

My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted

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(303): My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/ipi0

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

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(808): I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup. http://tfl.nu/a5xy

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.

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(715): She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee. http://tfl.nu/wutx

Replies (7) Good night (1845) Bad night (1014)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today

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(+61): I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today http://tfl.nu/nnzy

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(630): View more from Illinois

Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart

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(630): Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart http://tfl.nu/qpzs

Replies (8) Good night (635) Bad night (1487)
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(573): View more from Missouri

So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.

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(573): So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs. http://tfl.nu/477y

Replies (12) Good night (2698) Bad night (704)
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(305): View more from Florida

He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel

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(305): He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel http://tfl.nu/vmu7

Replies (1) Good night (593) Bad night (351)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder

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(651): Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder http://tfl.nu/3wmb

Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (274)

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