Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am