Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.