he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(