I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
