He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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