guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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