It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
