Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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