She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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