Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
