hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
