He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
