So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
