never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
