She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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