Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
