Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
