Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
