make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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