i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
