Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
