their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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