If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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