We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
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I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
A bitchslap is in order.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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