I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
