my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish they made helmets for livers.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
