I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
