remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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