gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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