you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
