You made me cry and you don't even care
you didnt know i had herpes?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
